Monday, July 23, 2012

Stargazer in a Puddle

Hart Hanson wrote this one. Ten minutes in, I don't think it will be as good as the past ones of his that stood out.

Booth and Bones are out in the field, walking through water and mud and Booth is not wearing the foot gear for it. I don't know why they have to recap last week's episode (maybe it aired several weeks before this season finale and they wanted to refresh audience memories), but they do. Booth tells her that Hodgins asked Angela twice to marry her and she turned him down. Then, he decided not to ask her again and that's when Angela said . . . "I'd like to marry you," Bones finishes the story.

Booth pretends that Bones asked her to marry him and says, "That's kind of sudden, Bones. Let me think about it."

She takes him seriously, although if she really thought he was responding to what he thought was a marriage proposal, I think she'd be flustered that he was actually "thinking about" it, not casual and conversational. She says, "No Booth, that's what Angela said to Hodgins." He chuckles, indicating that he was only kidding.

Bones says that jokes like his are the way we manifest our hidden desires.

They find a body in a flooded, abandoned building. They found a child.

The child has a stone that says "I Love You" in its hand. Bones said that Booth has told her that pedophiles delude themselves into thinking they love their victims. So, she figures the child is a victim of a pedophile Well, maybe, some of them think they love the kids, but I wouldn't conclude a pedophile was at work here just based on what the skeleton had in its hand.

They are looking at an x-ray. Booth said the kid had arthritis from looking up a lot. Booth said she could have been praying. Do people really look up to pray? Most of the time, I thought they looked down towards their clasped hands. Praying, for that many hours a day, Bones asks. What could she want that badly (scarlet ribbons for her hair, if Harry Belafonte's song is any indication). A voice says, "Her father." Max Keenan walks into the room. Booth pulls a gun on him and Bones pushes at him to stop.

Why would a wanted man walk into the Jeffersonian like that? How would he even get in? He tells Bones he came because he heard she was marrying. What, he was gone for 15 years and now he can't help but pop up for every social occasion? Bones refuses to cuff him like Booth asks. She doesn't feel like cuffing her own dad. "Plus, remember when he saved your life?"

Where did Max hear she was getting married??

Booth arrests him for killing the Deputy Director of the FBI. Bones says it's ok. She knows he had to do it, which is good because the last time she talked to Booth about her dad, she indicated that she might be willing to turn him in herself, she asked Booth if she should, so I didn't expect her to snap at Booth for doing it.

Booth goes to the New Orleans attorney who says as far as authorities are concerned the guy is an electrician and not Max Keenan, the wanted man. He even has different fingerprints. He has a history as a law abiding citizen. Booth has to let him go. I don't understand this because it was the post-plastic surgery Max who killed two people. If Booth and Bones tell the truth under oath, that's enough to bring him to trial. They don't have to prove that he's Max, to prove that whoever he is, he needs to be in jail based on the two most recent victims, but the plot needs him to be a free man so, voila, he is.

Booth says he likes Max and doesn't want to hurt Bones, but he has to catch him and do his job. "You abandoned her as a child," that stays with her, every time he walks into and out of her life again, Booth leers (half the time when Booth is smiling, I don't know if he's supposed to be; it's a wonder that Angel was somber for as long as he was). Max says Booth's just saying that so he will hit Booth and give him reason to arrest him. Maybe, but it's true.

Angela sketches an old woman, not a child. A child's face didn't feel right, Angela explains. But what she does is a science, Bones said, not an art. Angela says it's both and this time, "Art made Science her bitch."

Angela asks if Brennan will be her maid of honor "at the wedding," she adds. Why? Bones wasn't going to think she meant maid of honor at the bowling alley! Happy, Brennan almost cries and clasps Angela. Why is she surprised. Angela always called her her best friend. Who else would she have asked?

It will be lame if Hodgins asks Booth to stand up for him though. It would make more sense if he asked Zach. But Zach isn't a co-lead in the show, so I guess he can't.

Max says he set Russ up somewhere as a mechanic and it's better that Brennan not know where because Russ is in violation of his parole, because Max made him leave the state (well, he also helped a murderer escape).

Max gives her a ring that belonged to her grandmother, even though he'd always told her she didn't have grandparents. Brennan is nervous about it and goes to bed, but tells him he can sleep in the guest room.

The attorney asks Booth if he has reservations about arresting Max. He says, Bones understands. The woman says, "you hope she does." She will get Booth a warrant to collect evidence to prove that the man is Max.

At work again, Brennan figures the victim had one of the aging diseases. They identify her through a database.

Luckily for me, Hodgins does ask Zach to be his best man at his wedding Saturday. Distracted or just cool, Zach says he has to think about it.

They go to see the child's mother. Chelsea was actually 22. The mother is tearful. She was probably the killer, is my guess. There was a caretaker who bathed Chelsea once. He might have molested her, the mother thinks.

Caretaker said the mother was finding it harder to take care of Chelsea and he suggested she put her in an institution, so the mother got mad at him. That's why she is blaming him.

Max said that Brennan's mom had 2 sisters and if Bones' seeks them out she can show them the ring (passed from eldset daughter to eldest daughter, like Bones' mom was) and they will know she's family. Max said he never had family of his own.

Meeting with Brennan at the diner, Max has a message from the mother on video tape. He hasn't viewed it, but it's for Bones when she's ready. Oh, no. This is like her opening those stupid Christmas gifts. She is going to end this show, this season of the series, by looking at that ridiculous video tape we only learned about right now, while wearing that ring? That is not good drama or good writing and I will not be moved by such sap. Booth walks in and shows Max his warrant and apologizes for having to do that.

Zach shows Hodgins a letter from the president asking him to go to Iraq. He can't be Hodgins best man because if he later goes to Iraq and gets killed, Hodgins won't be able to remember his wedding with happiness. Hodgins says, "Big assumption there, Buddy." Yeah, on at least 2 counts. Zach tells him to ask Booth to be the best man.

At Chelsea's house, Brennan is looking at the girl's drawings of the stars and says they are accurate. She sees a dolphin constellation and says that her and her mother both loved dolphins. That was something they shared. Booth looks at her. I think he is more sympathetic this time than he was last week when she went off on a tangent about being buried alive with another witness. I wish he had handled her more humorously this time too and said, "not now," rather than feeling sorry for the poor abandoned girl that she wears on her sleeve and bores everyone with, by comparing their plight to her own.

They suspect the mother of physically abusing Chelsea. In the car, Hodgins calls Booth and asks Booth to be his best man. Booth says sure. His response is more casual than I expected. I bet Zach will step up and Booth will step aside at the last minute.

Hodgins tells Booth he doesn't want a bachelor party and all Booth has to do is give a toast and tongue kiss the maid of honor. Booth says sure, who's the maid of honor? Brennan, in the car with Booth and only hearing his side of the conversation says she's the maid of honor. He looks askance and just asks Hodgins if he needs him to connect with the bride's father. I'm surprised he's not more freaked that he's not really friends with Hodgins' but is asked to take on this very personal role on the most important day of his life.

Brennan saw from her medicine bottles that Chelsea's mom has HIV or AIDS. I say she probably killed Chelsea because there would be no one to care for the girl, when she dies.

Hodgins and Zach are doing an experiment with spam and sea chimps (monkeys). Cam doesn't know why they are even telling her about it. They say because she told them they had to have her permission for experiments or they would get fired. What? She told them that 10 episodes ago and they've done plenty of experiments without her permission since then.

At the diner, Brennan asks Booth if he likes his father. He says he loves him. Well, how come in the past he said he wished he could talk to him more. What's stopping him? I think it's not as smooth a relationship as he lets on.

Brennan says she thinks she loves her dad, but is torn. Booth says it's hard to trust a parent who has abandoned you. Is she terrible for not wanting to care about him, she asks? Am I a bad daughter, a bad person? With a smile, Booth says, "you're not a bad anything." Sounded kind of sultry there.

Hodgins found that the sea chimps would feed on decomposing tissue. Booth who loves sea chimps says that Hodgins has now ruined them for him.

They think that Chelsea's mom poisoned her with AIDS medicine. But there's 20 minutes left in the show so they (and I) must be wrong and the mom can't really be guilty. Unless the rest of the show will be devoted to the nuptials and they just wound the obligatory case up real quick to make room.

Brennan accuses the woman of throwing away her own daughter. Ah yes, just like her father threw Brennan away? This writing stinks.

The FBI finds it has old evidence of blood from Max that they can link to the present day guy. Booth pauses when he gets the info. Maybe he's sorry it exists. Cam matches the blood for him.

Hodgins meets Angela's ZZ-Top looking father and asks for her hand in marriage as a sign of respect. Since the guy looks like a free love hippie, why would Hodgins think he would welcome that gesture. The guy says that Angela would be offended by one man giving another man her hand or any of her other fine body parts. He says, "You could get us both killed."

In a parking lot, Max says he can't surrender to Booth and tells him to shoot him. Booth prepares to fight him. It's all very friendly. Max indicates it's just for show, because it's Booth's lucky day, as Max refuses to leave Bones again, but when Booth punches, he punches back hard and then hits Booth in the crotch, making him fall to the ground. Why Booth doesn't see it was all a scam anyway is beyond me. I'm not at all sure why he didn't just shoot him in the leg as Max invited him to do, anyway.

Brennan watches the freaky video. Did the Mom leave one for Russ too? The video was made for her 16th birthday and bequeathes the ring. The mom tells Temp she was cherished and adored. She says it was her idea to leave the kids to protect them and asks her not to hold it against Max. She left Temp out of love.

After that, Brennan is moved to give Chelsea's mom Chelsea's drawings, as the mom had asked earlier. Oh, now she sees that the mother killed Chelsea out of love (she tells the mom she did it out of mercy)? Brennan now knows that the mother thought she was dying and wanted to protect Chelsea. That video from her mom let her do the psychology she claims she was incapable of and if she's always going to be this hokey at it, I'm glad it's not her forte.

The irony was that Chelsea's mom began to respond to an experimental AIDS treatment, so maybe she killed her daughter for no reason. Maybe she could have lived on to take care of her herself.

Um also why did the loving mom try to implicate the caregiver in her daughter's murder. That's not such a kind thing to do.

At the wedding, Booth is all beat up. I hope Bones apologized to him for her dad's violence. I'm relieved he doesn't fawn over her beauty sentimentally, when he sees Brennan in the bridesmaid dress. He tells her she looks good, but she says Cam looks better. So then Cam adjusts the sash and asks Booth how Bones looks (that's curious that Cam asks him, why because he's the best man or because Cam considers him Bones' partner). Booth says Brennan looks great. She wants to know why he only said "good" before. He tells her it's not her day and they should just get going. I'm surprised that Angela asked Cam to be in the wedding. That might have been a scene worthy of being put on screen.

Zach asks Booth what it is like in Iraq and wonders if it hurts to get shot. Booth isn't interested in the conversation.

As he walks down the aisle with Bones he says he's sorry he arrested her father. She says they dont' have to talk about it right now. In my opinion, she should be the one apologizing.

As the bride walks down the aisle, Booth tells Brennan that Max could have gotten away, but didn't. He wants her to know Max made the decision not to abandon her again. "So, he beat you in the fight?" She asks. Booth hastily says, "I didn't say that." He explains that her father chose to be arrested. She hugs him, grateful for the information and Angela has now made it all the way to the altar and is looking at them, "Hi. I'd like to get married now." Her name is Angela Pearly Gates Montenegro. The father gives her away, but leaves the wedding because he has a show to get to.

Someone from the state department comes in and interrupts the wedding. I don't think this is funny at all. They are trying to give it that old Moonlighting since of humor and mayhem. Agnes DePesto and Herbert Viola could have had a wedding like this, but it's not working for me on this show.

His thoughts lingering in Iraq, Zach asks Booth should he duck if someone shoots at him. Booth says your body ducks whether you want it to or not. Zach tells Booth he knows more about duty and honor than anyone and so Booth should be the one to tell everyone that he has to go away. He shows him the letter from the President.

Meanwhile the guy from the state department says Angela was married before (would he really interrupt her wedding and come there personally to stop it. Does the state department care?). She did mention this "marriage" earlier on in the series, so it's not out of left wing. I guess she didn't consider the marriage legal, because she just jumped over a broomstick in Fiji.

The New Orleans attorney can't save the wedding day, so she just tells Angela and Hodgins to run. So, they bid the wedding gatherers goodbye and leave with smiling faces.

Booth and Bones are at the altar wondering what they do now. The show ends with them standing in front of the minister, staring. If the audience is supposed to think that they get married instead of Hodgins and Angela and can show up next season as man and wife, the writers think we're dumb. Of course, I have an advantage because this episode is 5 years old when I'm watching it for the first time, so technically, I know they didn't wed, but I still wouldn't have thought they'd marry back then, if I'd been watching in real time. Not a cliffhanger I'd whoop over, even if I'd seen it on May 16, 2007, I don't think. I suppose as a Monday morning quarterback I could be wrong. Still, I feel my past praise of Hart Hanson as a good writer was misplaced and premature. With the writer's strike coming next season, I think we may get more poor episodes like this one.

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